Sunday, June 12, 2016
Field Notes: The Cart Tipped Over, The Horse Ran Away
Or at least that's what it felt like.
These last few weeks have been a turmoil of urgent family issues that have harshly and abruptly brought me out of the Cave, squinting like a mole, confused and momentarily dazed.
When it does, our focus and responsibilities must shift accordingly.
That focus brought me away from everything but the most urgent, immediate demands in my life.
To put it gently, my mother has begun to enter her second childhood. I read that term recently and it really resonated with me - it is exactly what is happening to our family. The children have become the adults; the parent, the child.
It has been a difficult and emotionally straining few weeks as our family has scrambled to determine what the best course of action is, now knowing fully the severity of our mother's condition.
As is usually the case, she had been hiding it most brilliantly for quite a long time. And, as is also usually the case, we all went on believing, on some level, (perhaps out of fear) that she was perfectly fine.
Until she wasn't.
In the coming weeks, I hope to find my way back to the Cave; genealogy and family history being my comfort and solace. I also sense a new urgency to record my mother's memories before it is too late. I have begun writing down every little funny question I wonder about, I missed the opportunity with my father, a deep regret.
I have returned to my grandmother's research box, my mother's mother, and am assembling a folder with letters, photos, etc that need answers only my mother can give. Her long term memory is spot-on and I am looking forward to some rich family stories that I might never have thought to inquire about.
Time is short. Memories die.
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