What week is it? Ten? What made me think that I could possibly keep up? I am just back from morning cataract surgery, typing with one eye, reading through all the posts on the Facebook group, feeling like a failure. Or at least a slacker. The kid at the back of the class shooting rubberbands at the blackboard. Doodling when I should be paying attention.
My life got enormously busy the day I committed to this Do Over. Why is that? What in the universe is triggered when an intense time commitment is made? I was looking for things to do last year. I had plenty of time to commit to something like this. Then BAM! Just like The Truman Show, Ed Harris from his mysterious control room cues anything and everything to be thrown into my path, thwarting all attempts at glorious completion! Harumph.
(No. I don't actually believe Ed Harris is behind this. But on the other hand ....)
One of my stumbling blocks has been the fact that I also decided to do the 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks challenge this year. And another is the false belief I had at the beginning of the Do Over, that it was going to be a YEAR LONG process. That I might have been able to handle. The 13 week revelation just triggered weeping and hyperventilation as I tried desperately to keep up. (Oh, and the cataract surgery, but why let that stop me?!?)
Wait a minute .....
Why can't it be a year long process ....
(It can, Anne, you had this revelation before, remember?)
Although I am really wanting to keep up with everyone, to "do" the do over within the prescribed 13 weeks. To be an active and up-to-speed member of the group, that clearly is not my reality. There is so much information to read through, digest, learn, try out, that I do believe I just may begin at the beginning on April 4. Only this time I will do Week One for the entire month of April, Week Two during May, etc.
Now this! THIS just might work!!! (she snorts, under her breath, to herself)
What ever I need to tell myself. (again)
I still feel like somewhat of a failure. Like the kid held back a grade. But genealogy is a process not a destination, right? And we all work at our own speed. And judging by all the posts to the Group I am certainly not alone! Sometimes I feel like I am in a race, but who am I competing with? Myself? What's that about?
And my vacillating on my HOW, all-in or modified. Some days I'm chucking it all, getting new software and starting from scratch, other days the modified participation seems the way to go - why reinvent the wheel? But my wheel is really more of an octagon than circular - it rolls, but it lurches along, a bumpy and sometimes confusing ride. (I have a bunch of Tidewater Virginia kin in my tree - need I say more??)
What I need is a Genealogy Geanie. One rub on the magic lamp and all my problems vanish - my trees in perfect order! Just imagine!
No, what I really need is to get out of the Cave more often, I'm starting to sound just a wee bit crazy .....
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